My profile pic is a lie...

I guess that the people who've seen me recently know that I don't look like that anymore. But oh well...

There's a lot on my plate right now so that's why I haven't been updating too much. I'm beginning to regret making so many committments for the semester. I just have to tell myself, "Oh Amanda, there are only 13 weeks left." Yikes.

I actually wanted to ask for prayer. That's my main intention with this entry. Adam's been struggling a lot with the job market in this area. He's been waiting on a new company that's supposed to be opening up in Charleston that he's already had an interview with but we have no idea how long it's going to take. We're about at our wits' end. If this thing doesn't pick up and get moving within the next couple of months, it could mean that we're looking at another move. That would mean Adam would probably be going back over to the Edwardsville area and I would have to stay here until December to finish school. Rough times again. We would still get to see each other on weekends and over the summer, but I really didn't want to have to do the whole living apart thing again, it's definitely not easy. I really do think that God is leading us somewhere but I'm not sure what's going on anymore. And that's when I worry, which I know I'm not supposed to but it runs in the family...

When we moved home, we did what we felt was right. But were we right? Maybe we got so focused on wanting to be back around family and friends that we forgot about what God wanted. Maybe we were never supposed to move home at all. Maybe we had a calling that we left. But everything just seemed to fall into place when we were moving. But then we had some trouble when we finally got back. Were those indications that we weren't where we were supposed to be? But perhaps we needed to be home to go through the trials and become stronger...I don't know. So many questions. I guess I should stop worrying and quit looking at the past unless it's for learning's sake. But now we have to get back on track...

Are we so far away from the track that not only can we not get straight, we don't even know where the track is..? I don't know, I'm tired of thinking. Or maybe I'm just lazy.

Whatever happens I know we'll go with the flow and keep asking God what's going on. But I'm just asking for a quick prayer that God will reveal what He has in store from us. Thanks guys. We just really need to know what direction to head in.

Oh no! Tagged!

Four jobs you've had in your life: Phillips 66 (yee haw), Richards' Farm, Scott's Building Center & Wally World
Four movies you could watch over and over: Mean Girls (I can't help it), Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Iron Jawed Angels, Gladiator (yes, it's true)
Four places you've lived: Greenup IL, Edwardsville IL, Highland IL, Mattoon IL
Four TV shows you love to watch: Smallville, Jeopardy, Trading Spaces, Biggest Loser (I need to get on that show)
Four places you've been on vacation: Branson MO, Clear Water FL, Daytona FL, Niagara Falls
Four websites you visit daily: ChicagoTribune.com, blogger, Overstock.com, yahoomail.com
Four of your favorite foods: the wonderful porkburgers at the Cumb. Co. Fair, Coconut Cream Pie, Shrimp Scampi, chocolate chip cookie dough
Four places you'd rather be: Rome, London (all over), Tokyo, the Bahamas
Four albums you can't live without: Cool Hand Luke (The Fires of Life & Wake Up O Sleeper), Garden State Soundtrack!, Elton John Greatest Hits (sorry)
Four magazines you read: none really, occasionally Relevant
Four cars you've owned: 1988 Chevy Beretta, 1996 Ford Contour and technically Adam's 17 other cars that would fill an entire page to list
Four people I'm tagging: hmmm...Carissa, Beki, Melissa L. & Gregory

Hope this info does something for you...ha!

Ineffable: Dictionary.com Word of the Day

Okay, so I'm a nerd. I get an email every day that tells me the word of the day from said site. But as some of you know, (and now more people will know) ineffable is one of my favorite words. What's ironic about it is that the very word means that something cannot be described with words, yet it is the only word I can come up with to describe the magnificence of God. I thought it was a wonderful way to start off the semester. I found out my first class was with Dr. Hoberman...awesome. Then I come home and see that a wonderful word complete with pronunciation, origin and definition appears in my mailbox. THEN, I hear a little bird chirping outside the window. What a great day.

Not to corrode the happy feeling with a complaint, but my rear end and muscles of my back are a tad sore today. Yesterday was wonderful, I hope you all got a chance to experience the weather (if you're from central Illinois that is, if you're not I have no idea what the weather was like for you yesterday). We got the opportunity to ride horses yesterday in the nice weather and it was fun. Little sore now, but it was fun. I got to ride on a running horse for the first time in my life. Now you must understand this people, it wasn't just a trot...we were running!! Ha! It was really cool and much nicer on the body than the bounce, bounce, bounce of a trotting horse. It was a great day.

Well, I'm really sorry I don't have anything truly interesting to say. Maybe later in the semester when my brain juices are flowing and I've been absorbed in some truly deep thought. Later taters.

A Great Start..

Well, I had a wonderful day to start the new year yesterday. R.B. Mays came to speak our church and both of the sermons...wow. It was great and I felt a jolt that I haven't felt in awhile. I really needed that. But I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to make any new year's resolutions this year. Every year I try and usually fail. So no more false committments. It's also a depressing way to start off the year...who wants to make a promise to themselves just to realize that the goal is unattainable...or maybe we just don't have the will to do it. So I'm not going to set myself up for disappointment. If I need to make a resolution then that means something isn't going right and for me, I'm sure it's been an ongoing process. Why decide to do something at the beginning of the year? Okay, rambling, I know.

Just thought I'd share this with you all too. I ran across this picture and it got me thinking... Yes, there once was a day when I was young, nicely tanned, blonde headed and blue eyed...and that day passed long, long ago. But sometimes I wish I could go back there. Barbie dolls and grass stains were much more fun than laundry and taxes. In all honesty, the things that I've realized lately have been tough issues to face, but I'm glad I'm doing it now rather than later...

One big thing that has occurred to me is how much a person's childhood resonates in their adult life. I guess I never fully understood that until I had to really dig down and deal with things that have bothered me for so long. I've seen this in so many people, not just myself. What happens in a person's youth can greatly determine their demeanor and how well they function in society. Seeing this first hand and coming to a much clearer understanding of how true this is, it actually seems pretty scary. I think I realize even more now the huge responsibility that parents take on. I mean, I never thought parenting was a light task, but lately I've been realizing that it is one of the most important factors in determining how a person will function in their adult life. There are so many details and examples of this and I could talk for hours about it, but just think about things that have happened in your life, how you were raised. And look at how that has molded you or shaped you into who you are now.

And the really frightening part of all this is that I see the slip happening. I know there are still great parents in the world that love their children and do everything in their power to promote their well-being. But there are many parents today that don't.

So as Adam and I look toward the future and think about child rearing, I feel better and worse at the same time thinking about this information. It's good to realize the weight on a parent's shoulders, but at the same time the fear of falling short is always there. I really admire and appreciate those who truly reach out to foster children. Not only have they provided a safe haven for those children, but they've also given them a chance at a better adult life.

That was my rambling for the day. No resolutions and be good parents. But really, the latter of those two subjects has really been on my mind a lot lately. Ha. I guess that John Mayer knew what he was talking about in his song "Daughters." True stuff in there, if you get a chance to really listen to what he says. Well, that's enough. Bumblebeetuna.