"Every now and again sometimes I get lost on the wind of a dream...": August 2007

Monday, August 20, 2007

Super Quick Update

I had orientations for my assistantship on Thursday and Friday and I got a surprise. I found out that I was chosen for the Presidential GA, but I failed to receive that letter in the mail. Dr. Hanlon (graduate coordinator) said that "the wires got grossed in the grad department." So, this is supposed to be an honor because it is a "highly coveted position and only a handful of students are given Presidential assistantships University-wide." But, most of you know that I worry and have problems with anxiety about everything. So, what was going on in my head? "Oh no, I had everything planned out as far as childcare and trying to predict what the future would hold and now I'm going to have different duties/meet new people/have to figure out what's going on!" I was told that this would be good for me however because it provides more flexibility. But I get nervous about meeting new people in the academic world and now my mind is in overdrive thinking that they're all going to have some standard in mind about what a Presidential assistant is supposed to be like and I just won't measure up. I hope I'm good enough for the job.

Sorry that's such a jumbled mess! I guess what I'm asking you to do is pray for me. I have so many self-doubts and I can't shake them off very well. I never think I'm good enough or smart enough to do anything that actually requires thinking power. This may surprise you because I have been in school for awhile but I really get nervous thinking about what lies ahead for me. So, if you could pray that I keep my sanity and that I don't forget that God is always there...I would appreciate it. Thanks.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007